


Envy of All

by Ryan_Haywoodya_haphap



Series: The Hamilton Series [1]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Based on Satisfied from Hamilton, Fake AH Crew, Fluff and Angst, For Jeremy at least, Freewoood get their happy ending, Gavin and Ryan are engaged, Gavin is lowk-key the Golden Boy, Jeremy falls for Ryan, M/M, Sad Ending, because i'm uninspired, but so does Gavin, only ryan isn't the vagabond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2019-02-06 04:15:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12809409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryan_Haywoodya_haphap/pseuds/Ryan_Haywoodya_haphap
Summary: And then he was gone again, lost in the butterflies in his stomach, heart hammering almost as soon as the blue eyes had undoubtedly found his own in the large crowd. But it was ruined so quickly. Someone had taken him by the arm and pulled him aside, causing him to stumble after what he had gathered to be Gavin.It was always Gavin, wasn't it?





	Envy of All

**Author's Note:**

> It's like 2:30 and I just finished this. I don't know how to write this may suck I'm not proud of it?? but here it is?? 
> 
> May go up and down for editing. Could be better but I hope you enjoy anyway 
> 
> Y'all can find me on Tumblr to make complaints  
> https://ryan-haywoodya-haphap.tumblr.com/

Jeremy held a careful smile on his face, all despite the feeling that the world was being ripped out from under him. Fingers curled against his champagne glass, so tight he was worried the glass might shatter under his grip. He let the sweet melody coming from the band across the room fill his mind and shut out the words being spoken across from him, hopefully drawing him away from any further attempt to involve him in the conversation. 

The soft sounds of piano brought him back to the night they had met in the first place. That night had been the end of a part of him. The night something inside him had woken up and died at the same moment; the night Jeremy was certain he would never forget no matter how long he lived. 

The mood was similar to that of the one in the restaurant currently. Candles casting soft shadows of light, a dozen or more conversations happening all at once, and of course, live music that lulled the room and flooded it with peace. People were everywhere and yet none of them meant anything to Jeremy. He wasn't sure anyone meant anything anymore.

It was meant to be just a business party. One Geoff had put together in hopes of bringing a sort of peace to the city while he took it over behind everyone's backs. Snide as it was, the man was smart and Jeremy admired him. 

“You strike me as someone who has never been satisfied,” Drew out the man seated just one seat over. Jeremy glanced over, drawn out from his own melancholic thoughts by the smooth talking voice. 

Eyes, Jeremy noticed first. The ocean should be jealous of their colour. The sky didn't compare to the blue Jeremy's vision connected with. Was he drowning, or perhaps just holding his breath?

"Pretty sure I don't know what you mean," Jeremy replied, leaning lazily on his hand as he took sips from his drink. Although he figured this beautiful stranger already saw him down several shots, so drinking slowly really wasn't an issue. 

"You're a lot like me," The man continued. "I've never been satisfied. Especially not by drinking alone at a bar; not at a big party like this at least. Aren't parties meant to be fun?" He spoke slowly and with a light chuckle to his words. Something about the way he spoke reminded Jeremy of fine wine. The kind he rarely drank but took pleasure in tasting.

Eyes, Jeremy noticed, never left his own. So beautiful. "Jeremy." He introduced. 

"Ryan." 

"And what brings you to a party like this, then, Ryan? You don't look like you're having to much fun yourself." Jeremy joked, eyes drifting over Ryan's face.

"Well, mostly the free diet coke, but don't tell Ramsey that." He winked. A laugh bubbled passed Jeremy's lips, leaving a smile on his face that Ryan seemed to return naturally. "But I think my night is about to get a whole lot better."

"So you don't come here often then?" Jeremy asked, ignoring the slight flush to his cheeks as he finished off his drink. He hoped the cold liquor would cool his body down.

"Ah, that’s the line you’re going with?” Ryan asked with a large, shit-eating grin and Jeremy was already smitten.

“I'm under pressure here!" Jeremy scoffed, although a friendly smile remained on his lips.

“I don’t do any of this very often, but even I know that line has never worked for anyone." 

"Well, not yet." Jeremy grinned, sitting up just a little more. "I like to think of myself as a game-changer." He spoke proudly, chest puffed out like a proud bird.

“You,” Ryan says simply, a small grin on his face. “You're something special." The way Ryan looked at him, Jeremy remembered how fast his heart had gotten, and just how worried he was that Ryan might be able to hear it. "You could just be what I'm looking for."

It wasn't until Ryan stood up that Jeremy's heart nearly stopped; only to start again as the man gave a far to confident smirk. "I hope to see you again before the night is over, Jeremy." And he was gone. Tall, handsome and taking Jeremy's heart with him.

The small conversation they had was in many ways the best conversation of Jeremy's life. Jeremy had never clicked with someone so perfectly. He had never met anyone who was naturally relaxed and confident around him, or flirtatious in his presence. Who could give back just as much as they were served, even dish out a little extra. As dramatic as it may have sounded, Jeremy would have given anything to take Ryan away from that place. To run away with him.

He wasn't one for romantic cliche's, but he may just call it love at first sight.

Jeremy stood, determination carrying his feet through the crowd on his search for Ryan. And then he was gone again, lost in the butterflies in his stomach, heart hammering almost as soon as the blue eyes had undoubtedly found his own in the large crowd. But it was ruined so quickly. Someone had taken him by the arm and pulled him aside, causing him to stumble after what he had gathered to be Gavin. 

"Jeremy!" Gavin squealed, fingers lacing through Jeremy's own and giving them a squeeze. "Did you see him?!" 

"What? Who?" Jeremy mumbled, unsure as to who Gavin was actually speaking of. His head turned to scan the crowd from where the two were standing, but he could only follow Gavin's gaze in hopes of finding an answer.

The moment his eyes landed on Ryan on the other side of the room, Jeremy's neck had almost broken looking back to Gavin for any sort of confirmation that it wasn't him. Gavin, bright-eyed, wide and staring; a flush so red his golden skin was nearly taken over. Frozen in the crowd and breath held up in his lungs. Jeremy knew that look. That was love. 

"This one's mine," Gavin whispered. 

Jeremy had felt a lot of hurt in his life. He had been shot, dropped from planes, buildings, hit by cars and even tortured once or twice. But this? This topped it all. Nothing compared to the hot rage that rushed his body, tearing at everything he had left. His heart sank and tears formed in his eyes, but he plastered a smile on his face. 

Gavin had lost a lot more than Jeremy ever even had to begin with. He deserved this one. The happiness of his family meant more to Jeremy than anything else, even if it required a personal sacrifice.

"Well then, let's go get him," Jeremy mumbled before his feet carried him forward. It was hard to not let his knees buckle but he managed to carry himself with a smile, even when he laced his arm with Ryan's and began walking.

"Where are you taking me?" Ryan asked and Jeremy could have broken down, the smooth tone punching him right in the gut. 

"I'm about to change your life." 

"Then, by all means, lead the way." Ryan had grinned. 

They had made their way across the dance floor and came to a stand in front of Gavin, who was making a poor attempt not to stare. Beautiful, lovely, and oh so perfect Gavin Free. People loved him and Jeremy knew Ryan would be no different. Jeremy dropped Ryan's arm, crossing his own over his chest. 

"Gavin Free, it's a pleasure to meet you." Gavin smiled, skin still pink with blush as he shook Ryan's hand. 

"Free?" Ryan's gaze tilted to Jeremy a little. 

"One of my Ramsey's boys," Jeremy mumbled. 

"Thank you for all your service. I know Geoff appreciates the help of his hitmen in controlling the city." Gavin interjected, grinning fondly and batting his lashes. Jeremy remembered the way Gavins body had nearly turned to mush when Ryan kissed his knuckles. Jeremy also remembered nearly choking on the lump in his throat.

"If it takes fighting a gang war for us to meet, then it will have been worth it." Ryan grinned, speaking against Gavin's knuckles before leaning back up straight. 

"I'll leave you to it!" It felt like a knife had been pushed into Jeremy's heart, gutting his chest from the inside out. He probably could have saved himself the trouble of telling them, however, as the two fell ever so quickly into a conversation.

It wasn't long before he had found a balcony to hide out on. The cold air grounded him, keeping a sense of reality around him as he finished off the tray of drinks he'd stolen. Gavin deserved to be happy. In their line of work, happiness was an end goal. It wasn't something found along the way. 

Geoff and Jack had started together, they built this city on their own form of happiness. The lads never had anyone for themselves, no-one who lasted anyway. It seemed so permanently written that, in the end, Jeremy had given up looking. He wasn't even looking for love tonight, but it had smacked him right in the face, and then it was ripped from him. Taken away and smothered in gold. Cemented forever as something that was not, and never would be, his.

Jeremy often wondered what it would have been like had he not backed down so easily. It would be at Gavin's expensive, yes, but at least he himself would be happy. He might even be the one with a fancy diamond ring on his finger, telling the whole crew that he had plans for a summer wedding and a flashy honeymoon. 

It should have been Jeremy. But it wasn't, and it never would be. He was no Gavin Free. At least Gavin had found his happiness in this shitty world, Jeremy was thankful for that, and he was happy for him.

At least he got to keep Ryan's eyes in his life. He just wished, maybe one last time, they would be looking his way.

**Author's Note:**

> So, edit, I did write a Freewood "Burn"  
> https://ryan-haywoodya-haphap.tumblr.com/post/167860232524/i-know-you-did-satisfied-jeremwood-but-hear-me  
> I may not post it here because it's short, but here's the link anyway


End file.
